MEN'S BREAKFAST
APRIL 29, 2008
My grandparents used to have an old Labrador called Honey, and she used to go out onto the golf-course at Yass with them. She knew her golf-etiquette (stayed well behind everyone until they'd all tee'd off, didn't move while people were putting etc etc) but she loved to chase birds. Now Labradors aren't particularly fast, so the chances of her catching one were pretty remote... until she chased one certain magpie. Thing is, the magpie didn't move. Honey pounded down the fairway, and the magpie turned and... glared at her. The closer she got, the louder she barked; move, you stupid bird! You're supposed to FLY now!! And the magpie just looked at her. And suddenly Honey realised that she may well actually catch a bird... and it might just be a really bad thing if she did. In the last six feet, she went into a four-paw skid, orbited the magpie and belted back up the fairway, looking very very embarrassed. Didn't know dogs could blush, did you?
Honey was pretty smart, as far as dogs go. She could see the future, and in this case the future promised a lot of pain if she so much as bent a feather on this bird... So she changed tack pretty fast and retreated as fast as paws can – even if it meant people laughing (which they certainly did). All of a sudden, chasing the dream was a pretty stupid idea. Honey was a lot smater than some people I know...
The world out there promises us lots of things that are worth chasing after; more money, promotion, influence, nicer clothes, better social standing, a more exciting girlfriend, a better-looking wife. It screams these promises unrelentingly, consistently – advertising, the real-estate lists, car magazines, movies, literature, the success of colleagues and neighbors. The weekend sections of newspapers often feature the success-stories, and how-to-succeed advice; one from a month or so ago loudly advocated the advantages of cheating on your spouse.
But the world is remorseless and unforgiving when the chase is over, and the troubles have started. Again, flip through the very same newspapers – how many of the stories have a tone like a moral from one of Aesop's Fables? He got caught, he was punished, he deserved it... I don't remember too many occasions when media editors are ever accused of having moral double-standards; we willingly accept that they have no moral standards at all, and yet we still get saturated by their product without really questioning this in any way whatsoever.
In 1776, the writers of the American Declaration of Independence noted that “all men... are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”. And I think that phrase has inadvertently captured exactly what the problem is. Even though in Australia we don't have these words exactly framed in our constitution, we still have a society where these rights are paramount... we have, under the law, the freedom and the right to do whatever we please. And the only restraint upon this freedom is that it doesn't unfairly impact upon other people's rights to do exactly the same.
We are encouraged to seek happiness. Happiness is... a new home, no matter how crippling the debt. Happiness is... the rush of a pokies win, no matter how rarely that occurs – or what gets sacrificed to that false god. Happiness is... the lifestyle that only a Lotto win will be able to get you.
We get caught in the pursuit, the chase for happiness, but more importantly we assume that happiness is our birthright. Logically it flows that if we are unhappy, we need to change our circumstances to be able to get happy. If happiness is a right, then it is, logically, right to take action to make us happy or preserve this happiness. Even if the action does not bring happiness to others (and, somewhere along the line, it will almost certainly be at the expense of others), if it brings happiness to you, then it is right to do so. It's logical, it's the basis of several systems of philosopy... and at the end of the day it begins to explain why the ultimate end-point of this logic is unhappiness, dissatisfaction, sadness, anguish, pain.
Nobody is exempt from this temptation. We all face it, and it is by no means unusual for people and families within churches to be torn up, either by the pursuit of happiness, or because someone else's pursuit has been at a cost to us.
The Teacher in Ecclesiastes noted rather drily that “all the toil of a man is for his mouth, yet his appetite is not satisfied... better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the appetite”. (Ecclesiastes 6:7)
Well, fine. Easy enough to say, but how exactly do we do that? The quick-and-easy answer is that we need to be content with what we are given... but again, how do we achieve this contentment? How do we help each other in this? How do we take this to our families? Our wives? Our workplaces? Our church?
APRIL 29, 2008
My grandparents used to have an old Labrador called Honey, and she used to go out onto the golf-course at Yass with them. She knew her golf-etiquette (stayed well behind everyone until they'd all tee'd off, didn't move while people were putting etc etc) but she loved to chase birds. Now Labradors aren't particularly fast, so the chances of her catching one were pretty remote... until she chased one certain magpie. Thing is, the magpie didn't move. Honey pounded down the fairway, and the magpie turned and... glared at her. The closer she got, the louder she barked; move, you stupid bird! You're supposed to FLY now!! And the magpie just looked at her. And suddenly Honey realised that she may well actually catch a bird... and it might just be a really bad thing if she did. In the last six feet, she went into a four-paw skid, orbited the magpie and belted back up the fairway, looking very very embarrassed. Didn't know dogs could blush, did you?
Honey was pretty smart, as far as dogs go. She could see the future, and in this case the future promised a lot of pain if she so much as bent a feather on this bird... So she changed tack pretty fast and retreated as fast as paws can – even if it meant people laughing (which they certainly did). All of a sudden, chasing the dream was a pretty stupid idea. Honey was a lot smater than some people I know...
The world out there promises us lots of things that are worth chasing after; more money, promotion, influence, nicer clothes, better social standing, a more exciting girlfriend, a better-looking wife. It screams these promises unrelentingly, consistently – advertising, the real-estate lists, car magazines, movies, literature, the success of colleagues and neighbors. The weekend sections of newspapers often feature the success-stories, and how-to-succeed advice; one from a month or so ago loudly advocated the advantages of cheating on your spouse.
But the world is remorseless and unforgiving when the chase is over, and the troubles have started. Again, flip through the very same newspapers – how many of the stories have a tone like a moral from one of Aesop's Fables? He got caught, he was punished, he deserved it... I don't remember too many occasions when media editors are ever accused of having moral double-standards; we willingly accept that they have no moral standards at all, and yet we still get saturated by their product without really questioning this in any way whatsoever.
In 1776, the writers of the American Declaration of Independence noted that “all men... are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”. And I think that phrase has inadvertently captured exactly what the problem is. Even though in Australia we don't have these words exactly framed in our constitution, we still have a society where these rights are paramount... we have, under the law, the freedom and the right to do whatever we please. And the only restraint upon this freedom is that it doesn't unfairly impact upon other people's rights to do exactly the same.
We are encouraged to seek happiness. Happiness is... a new home, no matter how crippling the debt. Happiness is... the rush of a pokies win, no matter how rarely that occurs – or what gets sacrificed to that false god. Happiness is... the lifestyle that only a Lotto win will be able to get you.
We get caught in the pursuit, the chase for happiness, but more importantly we assume that happiness is our birthright. Logically it flows that if we are unhappy, we need to change our circumstances to be able to get happy. If happiness is a right, then it is, logically, right to take action to make us happy or preserve this happiness. Even if the action does not bring happiness to others (and, somewhere along the line, it will almost certainly be at the expense of others), if it brings happiness to you, then it is right to do so. It's logical, it's the basis of several systems of philosopy... and at the end of the day it begins to explain why the ultimate end-point of this logic is unhappiness, dissatisfaction, sadness, anguish, pain.
Nobody is exempt from this temptation. We all face it, and it is by no means unusual for people and families within churches to be torn up, either by the pursuit of happiness, or because someone else's pursuit has been at a cost to us.
The Teacher in Ecclesiastes noted rather drily that “all the toil of a man is for his mouth, yet his appetite is not satisfied... better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the appetite”. (Ecclesiastes 6:7)
Well, fine. Easy enough to say, but how exactly do we do that? The quick-and-easy answer is that we need to be content with what we are given... but again, how do we achieve this contentment? How do we help each other in this? How do we take this to our families? Our wives? Our workplaces? Our church?
Because that's the bigger challenge, isn't it? This idea that the pursuit of happiness is what it's all about is the one that has morally crippled Western society. The antidote is going to have to be bigger than just me, or just you – it begins when we can pass on the antidote to our family, our wives, our children, our communities.
A Christian family that has a common aim here is like a well-designed building, or an aircraft – the internal strength comes from the structural members sharing the load, and for the load to be absorbed by the combined strength. And we just don't have that strength by ourselves. I seriously doubt that, even linked together, a God-loving couple can absorb the load without God as the great weight-bearing part of the structure.
As he so often does, Paul has some suggestions here. One of his strongest statements about this dire problem and its antidote is found in his First Letter to Timothy;
“Those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from their faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.” I Timothy 6:9-11
There's a reversal. The pursuit of happiness? Or flee from it? The pursuit of happiness... or to pursue righteousness? The pursuit of money, or to pursue gentleness? All the qualities that Paul tells Timothy to pursue are... hard. They're not fun. Godliness is one of the hardest things to attain. All of the qualities that Paul charges Timothy to chase hard... they're qualities that can't actually be used by yourself. All of those characteristics only shine as we walk with other people, as we walk in the world.
This is something I can't do by myself. And maybe, just maybe, that's why it's part of the antidote – because Paul's shopping list for Timothy lists qualities that cannot be individual, whereas the pursuit of happiness is, ultimately, an expression of pleasing the self alone.
I know I can't do this on my own; I've proven that to myself over and over and over – sometimes at horrific cost. It took a long time for Fiona and I to work as a couple towards this end. And even together, we can't do it – and we've proven that to each other over and over, and yes, that has come at a cost as well.
As he so often does, Paul has some suggestions here. One of his strongest statements about this dire problem and its antidote is found in his First Letter to Timothy;
“Those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from their faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.” I Timothy 6:9-11
There's a reversal. The pursuit of happiness? Or flee from it? The pursuit of happiness... or to pursue righteousness? The pursuit of money, or to pursue gentleness? All the qualities that Paul tells Timothy to pursue are... hard. They're not fun. Godliness is one of the hardest things to attain. All of the qualities that Paul charges Timothy to chase hard... they're qualities that can't actually be used by yourself. All of those characteristics only shine as we walk with other people, as we walk in the world.
This is something I can't do by myself. And maybe, just maybe, that's why it's part of the antidote – because Paul's shopping list for Timothy lists qualities that cannot be individual, whereas the pursuit of happiness is, ultimately, an expression of pleasing the self alone.
I know I can't do this on my own; I've proven that to myself over and over and over – sometimes at horrific cost. It took a long time for Fiona and I to work as a couple towards this end. And even together, we can't do it – and we've proven that to each other over and over, and yes, that has come at a cost as well.
The only way we've managed to start to get it right is to sit together, regularly pray together, ask forgivenness of each other, open Bibles and read to each other... if you like, to do church together as a congregation of two. We've both had to schedule time together to make this commitment stick.
It's not perfect. But it's the firmest foundation that we've ever had. And my biggest regret is that for the majority of our nine years of married life, we haven't done this. That's been a loss to the two of us – but there's no time to mourn those losses. There is time to start again, and so we do. Four nights out of seven, we start again. Once the kids are in bed, we stop – doesn't matter how much washing-up there is, doesn't matter how much homework or Greek study I have. We stop, and we come together – to learn together, to read together, to pray together.
Does it answer all of the problems the world throws at us? Not entirely – nothing will, until we find ourselves at the end of one pursuit or another. But it's less hard for two people to pursue righteousness together, pursue peace together, chase after gentleness together. For those of us who are married, this is where Bible-believing, God-fearing church community starts... in the home. For those of us who aren't married, here's why it's important to read the Bible and pray with others, as well as by ourselves. Here's where the antidote starts.
Reading God's Word and praying will help us realise when the bird that we're chasing is a big and nasty magpie. And God will help us find the wisdom and the strength to turn tail and flee back down the fairway.
Let's go out into the world this morning, hot in pursuit... not of happiness, but the things that bring our Lord and Master happiness.
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